Stress

Honestly, I have to wonder how much more I can take.

If the past six years of emotional and psychological abuse were not enough, now I have to deal with them by going to therapy. It's not so bad, but... it feels a little useless. Sometimes I wonder if my therapist knows what he's doing, but I figure I might as well give it a while longer and see if things improve. If not... Well, I'm just not going to think that far.

Add to that the absolutely awful stress of knowing that, in reality, your future is not really in your control. My school randomly dropped a $600 charge on me today, and the entire matter sent me into such an angst-fit that Kinsey made me pasta-roni to make me feel better (which is saying something, since that's a very heavy comfort food). Money's just.... so frustrating. I could pay it all off at once if I had to, but... financial anxiety is something I can't seem to get rid of. It's something that constantly bothers me: the fear that I won't be able to pay for something. I mean, it really is one of the most awful feelings in the entire world. In my opinion, whoever put us on the monetary track should have been shot. It's just too much stress.

I'm upset, I know that much because my shoulders are so tense you could break iron on them, but I don't know what to do about it. Praying and napping seem like the best options at this point, and I'm just hoping the charge turns out to be a mistake. If not... Well, let's just hope that God provides a way.