---
On Monday morning, I noticed I had an email from the university. We receive those sorts of things often - like ten times a day often - so I thought nothing of it. The email detailed that a search of one of the dorms had been conducted during the night because masked gunmen had been reported. Nothing was found, the email claimed, and all was well. This incident was immediately concerning, but not for the reasons you might think. My question was, "Why did the email telling us about the incident come twelve hours after it happened?" Normally emails of that nature (and texts messages and calls) are immediately sent out through the emergency system lest panic or confusion begin. Reading that message, I imagined my students in the dorm, terrified and uncertain of what was going on, and I was immediately worried. Little did any of us know, though, that it was only the tip of the iceburg.
It quickly came to light that the search of the dorms stemmed from a threatening post that had appeared on a Youtube video about the segregation issues in sororities. The threat said,
Ladies and gentleman. The day of retribution is getting nearer and nearer. Do not be found wanting. I have seen minorities suffer at the hands of those who think they are superior. This is my first message and I shall not say much. Take this the way you want; as a threat or whatever. All I know is that it will be a day when all that look at minorities with disgust shall remember. After this day, you shall appreciate every minority who walks on that campus. Friday the 20th of September was Miss Sorority Row. My mercy kept all of you alive because it was not yet the day of retribution. Do you want to know how it feels having a TAR-21 passing right through your flesh. I'll be watching all frat parties and monitoring all of your events. The day is near. Be vigilant.
The moment I saw this threat, I felt sick to my stomach. I've always been terrified of a shooting happening on campus; it is a situation we honestly have no training for. And this threat, with its veiled messages and terrorist language, made all of those fears boil to the surface. Overnight, the campus descended into hysteria. Students emailed teachers asking if they were safe to come to campus, parents pulled students from school, and teachers were befuddled. Eventually, the administration sent out an email saying that they were investigating the incident, but (again) no mention of the threat was given. Panic grew. By Monday night, another threat had come to light, and students across the campus were receiving threatening texts and emails. And still the administration did not give us enough information to handle the situation. It was as though the very real fears of the student body were being dismissed and marginalized. Rumors began to compound until the truth was utterly lost in the shuffle of false information.
As a teacher I felt like I was staring into the void, knowing that my students were expecting me to somehow address the situation. But I was also terrified. It was as if the world had been twisted in a fun house mirror and the feeling of safety I had always associated with campus had been ripped out of my chest. How could I do as the administration was asking and carry on as though nothing was happening? How could I pretend that I was not afraid and tell my students to put themselves in what they perceived as a dangerous situation? Monday night, at about midnight, I sent an email to my students letting them know I was keeping an eye on the situation and would make a decision about class in the morning. I then stayed up another two hours, watching for any sign that the perpetrator had been caught. After all, the FBI was involved in the investigation, and I was certain they would have whoever-it-was behind bars within twenty-four hours. When morning came, though, there was no breaking news about an arrest. In fact, the only news was an email again telling professors to keep calm and carry on. I found this answer insufficient. I knew my students needed something - anything - from me, some words of comfort or guidance. So, I sat down and wrote what may be the hardest email I've ever composed. I have decided to share it with you - all of you - because I feel that it is an important element of this conversation. After all, what does a teacher say when their campus has been threatened?
My email went out as follows:
As a teacher, this is the sort of email we hope to never write. But, I am going to do my best.
Right now, we are – as a University – under a terrorist threat. Whether or not that threat is credible, it still exists and is still a source of fear. I fully understand that. I am scared too. As instructors and professors, we are being encouraged to “stay the course” and continue on as though nothing is happening. Many of your professors are probably holding to these orders because they have come down through the official channels, which we are supposed to respect and support. But, I assure you they share your concerns about the current situation.
The difficulty in this climate of fear is that the University has been very quiet. Many have spoken about the Tweets and YikYak messages that have exploded over the past two days – messages that are likely hoaxes meant to increase the fear level on campus. The greatest concern to all of us are the two Youtube messages posted within the past few days. These messages speak of a coming retribution for UA and warn that we are being watched. These threats, whether they are “credible” or not, are real. That’s the thing about a threat: Once it has been uttered, it becomes real. And, I think that is where the greatest source of fear comes from: Someone, whether they mean it or not, has said they want to hurt people.
Something very important to understand is that the University of Alabama Police Department is not alone in investigating this threat. The local authorities and FBI are also involved. My dad specializes in computers and has worked in internet security before. When I told him the FBI was involved, he assured me that they had the second best minds for the job in the world – first and foremost being the Russian hackers. He said it was likely that they knew by yesterday afternoon precisely what computer the threat had come from and were keeping the matter quiet for a reason. I suspect that there is a group behind these threats and that the law enforcement offices are merely trying to capture them all before making a comment. Other universities in the South have experienced similar threats, and at least one arrest has been made at Southern Mississippi in connection with the threats made there. Campus security is taking the situation very seriously.
Today, I will be on campus for class. Security is everywhere, even in the township beyond the university. As I am writing this email, a cop car has passed my house three – no, four – times, and I live [outside of town]. I do not believe you have reason to be afraid today, but I also understand how illogical fear is. Sometimes the most difficult thing about fear is that it won’t simply “go away” when reason enters the picture; we have to fight through it. And right now, I am fighting through my fear, no matter how intense it is, because I believe everything is going to be alright.
If you are unable to come to class, I understand where you are coming from. Email me and let me know what is going on. ...
Also, please be aware that the University of Alabama offers trauma counseling. If your fear is overwhelming you, please take advantage of this service. The first visit to the counseling center is free. You can to go to the center at 1000 South Lawn Office Building (1101 Jackson Avenue) or call (205) 348-3863 during operating hours, or call the UA Police Department at (205) 348-5454 when the center is closed. I know from personal experience how helpful it can be to seek additional help when fear is so prevalent.
But please do not let this fear own you. We can make it through these difficult times together. Hopefully, I will see you in class today. I will put off our sentence draft assignment until Thursday, since I want as many of you as possible to take part in that very important lesson. Today, just come to class and we will work on a less critical skill.
Know that my thoughts and prayers are with each of you. Stay safe.
On Tuesday, some of my students did not come to class. Many of them emailed me, telling me that they did not feel safe coming to campus until an arrest had been made. I understood where they were coming from: I honestly did not want to go to campus either. But, I went. I went on Tuesday because I knew that I needed to be there for my students, to show them that fear should not determine what we do. And by showing up to campus, the University of Alabama collectively showed this "Author Pendragon" that we were not going to ruled by their threat. I was so proud of my students who came; they were so brave. Many of my colleagues have tried to belittle their fear, saying that it is ridiculous to be concerned about one little threat. But, looking into my students' faces that day, I knew that coming to class had become a Herculean effort for them: that coming to class was a way of stepping into perceived danger; that they were terrified; that they trusted me to keep them safe. How could anyone belittle that? I could not - and cannot - understand how other members of the faculty are treating the situation as a peevish, childish tantrum. I think, though, that a lot of my empathy comes from the fact that I know what it is like to put yourself between an attacker and their victim. I know that very personal and intense fear of staring death in the face and wondering if you are going to make it. My students felt that fear but were able to overcome that. I can only guess what was going through their minds at that moment. But I can tell you what was on my mind. That morning when I left for class, I seriously asked myself, "What would I do if a shooter entered my classroom? Would I be brave enough to try to stop them?" The answer that came to mind: "I sure hope so."
Class was a very tense affair. Any little noise made my students jump. We spent a good twenty minutes of class talking about the situation. My students wanted to know if teachers were being told things they were not, and I had to tell them that we knew only what they did. We then talked about whether there was any danger. I tried to be logical, pointing out that the campus and city were crawling with police officers. If anything were to happen, it would be over in a blink. I also addressed many of the rumors, pointing out the flaws in them and encouraging my students to not take them seriously. We even talked a little bit about what would happen if something did go wrong. That part of the conversation terrified me the most. After talking about it, though, I could see my students relax. They knew that I would give them any information I could as soon as possible, and I could tell that they trusted me to be real with them. I was grateful for that. We then watched a couple of funny Youtube videos, because humor can often be the greatest weapon in the face of such intense fear. And then we carried on, this time working as a team.
The situation on campus is still tense. Only one arrest has been made, and that was in connection with the emails and texts students received on Monday night. That young man is likely going to regret the choice to send those messages for a very long time, but at least the arrest did something to stem the tide of fear. However, no arrest has been made in the case of the original message. So, technically, we are still under terrorist threat. And I am still scared. The stress is frequently overwhelming, and my post traumatic stress disorder has been in high gear. Sudden noises make me jump, even though I know logically I have nothing to fear. I personally cannot wait to hear that arrests have been made and that the madness is over. I want my safe, happy campus and my jovial, relaxed class back. And I never want to have to live through anything like this again.
But even now, I am left with a number of unanswered questions. How did a Youtube post that specified neither time nor place lead to an investigation of a particular dorm? The administration is claiming that the Youtube comment lead to the search of the dorms, but how? It is possible that they thought the message came from the dorms, but why not address that instead of dancing around the subject? Honesty and transparency earlier on in the handling of this incident could have subverted much of the panic and misinformation that cropped up. How could the university declare that the threat was not "credible" yet still involve the FBI and, for that matter, how did they decide it was not "credible?" I would think that any threat to the safety of the student body should be considered credible, even if it does not seem likely. The language used in the official emails were dismissive of the credibility of the threat - even though the administration has since amended its language. If the situation had "truly been dangerous," I cannot help but wonder what the university would have done. Would we have received an email the day after everything was said and done? I certainly hope not. But, that doubt now exists.
I hope that these circumstances give rise to a conversation about the rhetoric of threats and how campuses should address them. This moment in our campus history serves as the opportunity to teach and to learn - two things I feel are not happening. When we could be talking about what to do if there really was a danger to the campus, we are instead insistently being told that we are overreacting. Rather than talking about the pedagogy of speaking to students in these situations, we are refusing to address the situation in the frank, precise language required. The dialog needs to take place in order for the campus to improve, but it is difficult to talk to someone who does not seem to be listening. I worry because I wonder just what it is going to take to get the administration in all its iterations to not just listen but really hear what the students are saying.
As a note, my particular department has used this situation as a starting point for disaster preparedness. We are going to be working on a system to determine the successfulness of non-traditional classroom assignments and how we might handle disaster situations. I think that is a fabulous start. Hopefully it leads to the conversations I called for above.
No comments:
Post a Comment