This year has been... one of the most difficult and rewarding that I have ever been through. So, I decided to share with you all a few things to summarize my year and what I've gained from it.
The year started out with, as always, going to school. One day, though, my roommate Beth and I went to Zion's National Park. This particular image is from scaling up a snowy, zig-zagging path. I got a few pictures during the trip, but this one is my favorite because it is my proof that there can be life even when you're up to your calves in snow.
That month was also fun because Beth and I went on another adventure to Provo for the "Life, The Universe, and Everything" Science Fiction and Fantasy Symposium held at BYU. It was great to listen to writers like Brandon Sanderson, David Farland, and Tracy Hickman talk about their craft. I learned a great deal about writing on the whole, and also about the things I've been managing to do right. It was also great because I was able to get a book signed by Tracy Hickman for Uncle Brent--ironically, it was the book with his favorite character, which the copy he had was stolen many years ago. That conference was great for realizing a number of things--like I am not as crazy as I think I am, becoming published is possible, and that characters in books can have a real influence on those that read about them. After all, Tracy Hickman told of a young soldier who had admired the attributes of a character so much that he applied it while he was in Iraq. The young man was wounded, but from where he fell he could see an attack that none of his battalion knew of. Thinking of how his favorite character, Sturm, had been the only one to defend a castle under attack, the soldier got up and warned his battalion of the attack. The move caused such extensive damage that the soldier became wheelchair bound, but his entire battalion made it out alive.
March continued the excitement: Spring Break! Our original plans were to spend most of our time in St. George and forray off into Las Vegas once or twice. The major problem with that plan was that Beth, our roomie who lived in St. George, had to work during the middle of the week. So, on a whim, Kinsey and I decided to just... keep driving past Las Vegas. We ended up spending the three days Beth worked in California, and it was wonderful. Every night we'd watch the Disneyland Fireworks (since we were too cheap to actually go to the park), and during the day we went to the beach. It was... fantastic. Somehow the spontaniousness of the trip just helped clear my mind, and the rest of the semester went wonderfully.
April was riddled with finals and auditions. That's when I got the surprise of being cast in the main stage production of "Our Town". Main stage had never paid my any attention, so I was surprised to be cast as Mrs. Soames, who is a rather fun character role. And yes, I did survive my finals. It was also Easter, which the roomies celebrated by making a basket for ourselves. Part of that included the newest cd by Blue October, and just to share I figured I would post one of my favorite songs from it, "My Never".
May... Ah, May. That was an adventure, of sorts. Going back to Salt Lake was... stressful, in its way. After all of the mess with Phillip I had become... afraid of going back to my parent's house. The state, however, helped ease my fears by taking Phillip into custody and putting him in the state mental hospital. It was strange, but going home for the summer was the first time I had felt safe there in six years... It was very strange. I don't think I could ever explain it in a way that would make sense to anyone who had not lived through the horror, but it was liberating. May also meant my return to work at the movie theatre, which was fun. Almost my entire summer was spent either working or seeing movies (Dad really enjoyed "Up"). However, I did manage to spend a little time working on my books. One fun project I took care of was fiddling with character fashion design.
It was the first time I had tried coloring on the computer, and it was definitely fun. I am still ridiculously pleased with the result, but I've yet to dare doing another.
August was perhaps one of the hardest months. Right at the beginning, just a scant two weeks before going back to school, I had a benign lump removed from my chest. It had been doing crazy things--like going from being a centimeter wide to an inch wide in a week--and the doctor wanted to just keep me from stressing too badly. I was... terrified. I had never gone in for surgery before, and the thought of something going wrong in my body had the strangest taste of betrayal. Once it was over, though, I made a quick recovery--if one ignores how awful it was to take the bandages off. I made it to school all right, even if I couldn't do any hard lifting for two months (which also meant I couldn't do the stage combat class).
September was rather disappointing when compared to the excitement of the months before. I simply went to classes, and started a bit of a war with one of my professors. She was under the impression that I was of lesser intelligence because of my theatre major--once upon a time some theatre majors treated her badly when she was going to school--and I quickly lost motivation in her class. There were so many things I wanted to discuss, but every time I tried to bring up something fun I was immediately told that I was wrong. But, I found salvation in my directing and Shakespearean acting classes. The professors expected me to do my best, and taught me more about my craft than I thought I could manage in one year.
And I can barely remember October. I would go to classes during the day, and then I would spend almost every single night at rehearsal. It was an exciting process, though, because working on "Our Town" made me a great deal of new friends. Lisa, who played Mrs. Gibbs, was an especially great find. She is one woman I expect to see reach the stars, and she's the sort of person I would be happy to go that far. October also meant my first successful college party--we had a bunch of friends over to watch the original "Frankenstein" and had an absolute blast. Afterwards I practically passed out from laughing too much, and my stomach was still hurting the next day. I was shocked enough that people agreed to come over, let alone that they had so much fun that they insisted we party again soon (which we did). And then we hit crunch week: tech for "Our Town". It was the best tech week I had ever been through. All of the rehearsals went very smoothly, and the directors made certain to get everyone out as quickly as possible.
Oh, November was fun, though! I started off the month with my directing project preview--"The Universal Language" with the wonderful Joel Johnson and Laura Grow as my actors. It went wonderfully, which was a great lead-in to the opening of "Our Town". The show went great, and I was rather sad to see it go, if only because of the people I would miss. And then I turned 21! Ironically, my birthday passed almost entirely without recognition. Here and there people wished me happiness, but I didn't get a single rendition of "Happy Birthday" the entire day. In many ways it was nice--I am rather phobic of my birthday--but I oddly missed that one little song. But, it was great to realize I had survived another year. Thanksgiving was a wonderful opportunity to see all of the family I had been missing. It was also a great chance to get my last breath before finals. Once I got back to school it was all work, work, work.
My final directing project went fantastically--the class loved it and I survived it. Then I managed to get my ten page paper done, and I even managed to squeak out of my awful English class with a B. Finals ended in a whoosh, and suddenly I found myself back in Salt Lake City.
It's amazing to think of everything I've done over the past year; most of these things are just the rough highlights of what I've been through. I've learned so much, too. Just because I'm an easy-going, sometimes boring person doesn't make me any less valuable--it just means I am different. I've also learned that friends are people who are able to tell you "no" when need be, but are also there to love you even when the world seems like it's ending (usually only in your mind). And, best of all, that other people are most capable of seeing how wonderful we really are. I've been so busy trying to be better that it took other people telling me how far I've come to notice it, and how grateful I am for them! If not for my wonderful friends, professors, and family I would certainly not be so happy or aware of the great things I have done.
Ultimately, the past is passed, and all we can do is use it as a platform to jump into the future. If we're always staring backwards, hemming and hawing over what's happened, we'll always trip over what is coming in the future. And, believe you me, I intend to jump into the future with my whole heart. I've only got so much time on this Earth, and I want to make the best of it. Other people can be the ones with empty dreams--I'll be the girl that succeeds.
I love you all, and thank you for everything you've done for me. All of the pain, all of the joy, and all of the laughter have been worth every moment. God bless you.
