Money is an interesting thing. It really is. Have you ever stopped to notice the power it has over people? One day you can think that someone is a friend that trusts you quite a bit, and then comes the issue of money. That blasted creation.
The reason I talk of this is because, like most college students, my money is in short supply. Gas prices are on the rise to ridiculous, rent is not exactly what one can call low, and all the other costs of living seem to be rising more with each day. And in the midst of all of this comes dealing with down payments. Now, usually this would not be so entirely stressful. I've been working all semester to have the money necessary to secure a place to rent, but once in a while I've had to pay for other things like going home and dealing with paying for credits.
One of my roommates decided to go Nazi today about money, and trigged so many of my anxieties stemming from past crap that I wanted to cause her some major harm. For some reason the explanation that I would have almost the entire sum by the 9th wasn't good enough, and she went into attack mode. To say the least right now I am deeply stressed and tempted to call my friend Derek to see how much he is willing to buy my car for.
I really, really hate money. And the thing is, I feel like I can't talk to my parents about it. They have so many financial burdens because of my brother and how work is going for my dad that I just...don't want to be another problem for them. I don't know what to do.
1 comment:
Money certainly is an unpleasant issue. It's strange to be limited in your hopes and aspirations by what is, when you think about it long enough, actually a kind of strange concept. There are many things I'd like to learn and do and see, but because of money, I presently cannot. Equally unpleasant is the idea of spending so much of my life working to get money in order to simply live. It occurs to me that I think and wish that there were a better way, but if there is, I certainly haven't heard about it. Being a vagrant wouldn't be terribly pleasant (I like showers and food and soft beds , I'm spoiled!) or anything...
As for trust, dear Kirstin, that is intangible and elusive. Even people who are really close to you can betray it- old friends, even family. Cynics say that you cannot trust anyone. I don't believe that exactly, but I think trust is something to be given out somewhat cautiously, and in different amounts. I'd trust you not to kill me in my sleep or steal my shoes, but that's easy.
I dunno. Man, we haven't talked in a long time. I'm sorry I took so long to check this and comment, too. I hope I hear from you again someday.
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